I'll be out on a patio (or patios!) with enthusiasm on May 15th

I wear a mask all day at work, I wear a mask into stores. I wash my hands a lot more, sanitize my hands in my car after going into most public places. I don't wipe everything down that I purchase with disinfectant wipes, I mostly forget to take and leave my shoes off outside my apartment.

I shop WAY less frequently than normal, I walk alone (always). I do not wear a mask outside.

I have not been inside my parents house since March 22, that was also the last time I saw my mother in person. I have had driveway "pops" with my dad two times since the stay at home order was put in place. I started a new job and couldn't shop for new clothes so I wear the same shoes to work everyday and one of the same two sweaters everyday.

On April 13th I hugged four people (no one got sick and no one died after). On Tuesday, April 28th I took a housewarming gift to a friend's new home. Got the tour, shared socially distanced beers in the kitchen.

Everyone is talking about how "we're in this together" and "we're all going through the same thing" and no: no we're not. I 'stay at home' by myself: no pets, no partner, no patio or balcony, no house to work on, no yard to work in, no balcony to sit on.

I don't want to do Zoom dinners, I hardly have the space in my one-bedroom apartment to set-up my laptop for Teams meetings for work.
I don't want to talk about how much it sucks: it sucks.
I basically want to do nothing and most often, as much as I enjoy walking, it is a real task to even do that.

I'll be out on a patio (or patios!) with enthusiasm on May 15th and I have friends that will be with me and so many of us are afraid to admit that or to admit we're excited and that is sad.

I get that people are still afraid, I can't say I'm not. I respect the decision to stay home and I am going to continue to be truly cautious but I am going out.

It's getting more and more controversial - restaurants and bars saying they're keeping their customers and staff in mind and not opening until June (I respect your decision to delay opening) but let's be honest, what some folks are really waiting for is for others to open and see how it goes. Let the "others" open first and see how it goes, it's at least part that in some cases (not all) and I know and love people on BOTH sides of the bar/restaurant business and respect them all. It's fine to delay your opening but please don't try and make others look and feel bad because they are not. In the end, lots of folks will have the luxury of learning from other people's mistakes and there will be mistakes and changes and adjustments and that's fine. It's all new, there will be a learning curve.

And lets stop demonizing people like me and my friends who might be weathering the same storm but are on different islands or are in different boats and are trusting in our Governor (that everyone trusted until he said something they disagreed with) and our leadership and are seeing the state of the economy; our own and that of the greater community and know that something has to give and at some point we have to try to get into our new normal.

Maybe if our fellow countrymen weren't so ignorant as to be bringing semi-automatic weapons into statehouses to fight for their right to get a haircut and people weren't pissing their pants about wearing a mask at Costco (go 'Merica) and maybe if more people actually understood the rights of privately owned enterprises and understood that yes, yes: You Tube or Facebook or any other non-government outlet can actually delete videos and comments and posts and no, that is not actually a violation of your first amendment rights. Maybe if some of that weren't happening, it might seem less fearful. It (opening up our economy and getting back out there) might seem less scary because we'd know our fellow citizens had our backs and could weather wearing a mask for 30 minutes at Target, even if they don't believe they help - just to be a good neighbor and reassure others you respect them and want as many people as possible to come out of this unscathed.

We can't all stay home forever. Maybe if we lived in a country and had a government that was set up to support us better: medically and financially and otherwise. Most folks against the openings coming up have no answer for when it will be or seem or feel safe and that's ok. All of this is unknown and scary and changing. I hope you don't have to leave your home until you are comfortable, I hope your unemployment stays in place until such time you feel it is safe enough to go out again and/or that your employer allows you to continue to work from home if that's what you need.

What I think (know) is that people are crazed and depressed and struggling and the risk to themselves and others (sadly) pales in comparison to their current, new reality. I don't think most people are ignoring the fact that their exposure to more people means even someone continuing to self-quarantine/stay at home is impacted (yes - I know there are plenty of idiotic morons out there, I'm not talking about them right now), I think most people know and are sad but also they need to get out, they need to be around friends, they need human touch, they want a hug. I don't think most folks are selfish or uncaring or ignorant, I continue to think that they are simply in need (see above).

Also - people are suffering financially.

People are desperate to save their businesses which includes their own livelihood as well as the livelihood of others. They've been working on safety measures in their minds for four+ weeks.
SBA money:gone
PPP money: gone.
People are desperate to pay their bills, reduce how far behind they are becoming financially and desperate to feed their families

Tens of thousands of people (many of my friends and myself included) are desperate because they have not received ANY unemployment, have NO INCOME and for god's sake: the application for unemployment for 1099-ers isn't even available to begin the process. Sure: when and IF people begin to receive unemployment they're supposed to be getting an "extra" $600/week. Know what? Most of my friends eligible for unemployment have had major problems navigating the unemployment application process and have received NO money. My few friends that have actually started to receive unemployment; don't know one (they may be out there) receiving the "extra" $600/week. And it's not EXTRA for many. Remember, unemployment only provides a percentage of a recipient's income (roughly 50%) so for many folks this will come close to making them whole, some this will be an increase and some still a net loss.

I am so glad (truly) for my friends that have a financial buffer, have some savings, even have a retirement account to pull funds from if necessary. But I don't have that and lots of my friends don't have that. I have plenty of friends that are going further and further into debt: can't pay rent, can't pay utilities, borrowing money from family and friends (I'm right on the cusp - I just-just made it until my first paycheck from my new big-girl job). Thankfully I have friends that have my back. There are many, MANY people that don't have family or friends to give them a financial (albeit borrowed) boost to help them and their families. People are waiting in lines for HOURS to receive a week's worth of food from food banks. Sure the argument may be: what else do they have to do (saying it here because I've sadly heard that) but can you imagine the anxiety and angst of having to sit in your car for hours and hours just to feed your family a handful of meals? That's reality.

The virus and its' threat is real. I get it, I do. I take precautions: reduced shopping, increased hand-washing, shoes in the hall, hand sanitizer in the car, six bags of groceries on the floor because all I wanted to touch was the food that needed to be refrigerated or frozen and allow the rest to sit for a day or two (or 21 as it is now with some of my groceries) in the hopes the virus dies before I touch those items. Then I lost the motivation to put them away so I constantly maneuver around shopping bags all over my apartment floors.

I don't want to get sick, I don't want to make anyone sick but I am sick and tired of being alone, sick and tired of no physical contact for weeks.

I'm also sick and tired of the judgement and the hate and the paranoia and the controversy and non-belief and those that fail to take any precautions and the list (sadly) goes on and on and on.

I'm going out May 15th. I'll be with friends. Join us or don't but it'd be cool if you'd stop being so judgmental about responsible people taking all the precautions and then choosing to engage in the legal and structured re-opening of our broken society and our severely damaged economy.

If you're choosing to head out on the 15th, the 21st and behind, please do it responsibly. Follow with care and consideration and respect all the new orders and rules that are in place. If you're sick, or feeling off, as much as you may want to go out, please stay home. Bring a mask, wear one whenever you can, between sips, when you are interacting with your server or bartender. Be excited but be courteous and respectful and please TIP.

Cheers.
Stay well friends.

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