Sunday, December 30, 2012

Holidays 2012


It’s that time of the year again…thoughts on holidays and families and friends and a New Year right around the corner.

It’s the biggest New Year I’ve had in a long time (ever?) – I will start a new job! I finally left my job of just over 16 years back in September. It was beyond time. I was lucky enough that my boss offered me 16 weeks severance and has kept me on his benefits this entire time. Not something you see/hear of everyday (or ever) and I was glad to accept. He appreciated me and my time as much as I appreciated the employment and flexibility over the years. I think the severance package spoke huge volumes about both of us (maybe a little more about his kindness and fairness).

I am glad, finally, to be away from the job; in so many ways because I simply didn’t care anymore. This was a job I had had since I was 20; I received two college degrees during my time there and I was stuck doing a job that anyone with a high school diploma could figure out (although frankly not as well as someone as educated as I am could [the doctor’s didn’t “scare me” and I was confident in my knowledge and education to stand up for and/or against all things as I felt necessary]). I am glad because now I am regaining a friendly relationship with my now “old” boss – we were getting to a point where we could hardly get through a week without wanting to kill each other...and in years previous we had a great friendship and mentor-ship  I am looking forward to (at least in part) regaining that).

I will now be the Executive Director of a local non-profit (in the animal rescue-ish world) and am anxious to start! I am excited and scared and all things that go along with new employment and new possibilities.

I am taking a very big pay cut and even bigger benefit cut with this new position but it breaks me into the non-profit world (as a worker-bee and not just a volunteer) and offers me the opportunity to do something I am truly passionate about and helps me put my good, extended education to use! I have also been working with a small business that I am truly impressed with for about two months (after having volunteered with the sister organization for about a year and a half) and will be able to continue to do that, taking away some of the sting in the financial loss: who’s that lucky, right? And I’m not being facetious; I mean it. I sought out positions where I knew I’d take a financial hit. I was ready for it (not quite this much but, ready)…because I’m ready to finally make a difference in this world with my work (anyone can make doctors money, you know?).

On to Newtown, CT and the horror that community has, is and will be facing for so long: I am sorry. As a fellow citizen of this world, I am sorry. I don’t have children so I have no idea the pain you’re enduring, and no parent that hasn’t buried a child of their own truly knows what you’re going through but my heart aches for you and yours. Countless lives hit by this act of evil and meanness and whatever else it might be.
            From here, the talk to guns and gun control and healthcare and mental illness.
1)      To every extremist: stop it. There will never be a day when there are no guns in this country. Not even a ‘smidge feasible so stop your rantings about it: please. To the other side – stop it. Stop buying every freakin’ gun under the sun because you’re “worried” you won’t be able to buy them later. Stop saying the president is the one trying to take your guns away and stop acting as if that day will ever come; we all know it isn’t and it won’t.
2)      Once you all stop it – take a breath and admit that something needs to change and there’s a huge, nightmare mess of several issues that need to be addressed. If you expect something to go your way please recognize you have to let something go “the other way” too. Compromise is the only way effective conversation and change will ever happen.
3)      Mental illness is an illness people and our country too often leaves folks with mental illness out in the cold, to fend for their own. This or they leave families ill-equipped to handle these sometimes terrible situations on their own…which leads to unnecessary evils being inflicted on others. The others are sometimes family members, sometimes further away than family but so often, with proper medical care and systems in place; avoidable. This has to be a piece of the conversation. 

On to the general nature of people…I love FaceBook – I really do. It’s just about the best tool ever for getting in touch with people, staying in touch with people and sharing our lives: far and near! It also opens your eyes to the true nature of some folks.

I have never, in all of my 36+ years “known” so many unhappy people: really! I wonder how often (if ever) people look back over their posts and see how negative they are (overall). I mean people: c’mon! If you’re really that miserable, if all the little things you post/bitch about (and how the heck do some people have the time to post 4, 6, 8x/day [these same folks who then gripe about not having enough time in the day]) bother you that much then; your life must truly suck…and you should do something about it or STFU (and by “STFU” I mean “flip” – shut the flip up)! My god! Quit yer bitchin’ and do something about it. Stop using everything in your power to stop you and start mustering up the power within yourself to take care of business (and still please: stfu in the meantime btw).

Next – I wish people would stop posting/cross-posting tons of false crap on FB. It takes about one minute to figure out whether something you’re about to post is correct or false. Please do us all a favor and stop perpetuating falsities and mistruths by spending about one minute to look it up. And once someone points out that it’s wrong – frickin’ delete it. Too many people see the story and not the posts below that show it’s false and re-post the bad information (hence why these stories go around and around and around).

If (on average) no one is “liking” or commenting on your posts that’s a sign: you’re posting too much or you’re posting so much crap the majority of your “friends” have hidden you or just didn't give even a half a crap to acknowledge it…so maybe stop?

Next…be grateful. I am consistently astonished by folks who simply refuse to take an honest look at themselves and their lives and just be grateful. No one has everything they want or need (no matter what we may think…everyone has hidden insecurities and fears and misgivings and missing pieces) – but you can choose to be so grateful for what you do have: really, it is just a choice folks. I’ve said it before, I’ll say it again…you really can choose to be happy. In spite of it all, maybe, necessarily; because of it all: be happy.

So…there are a few reflections and a few gripes (I generally try and not complain on a regular/daily basis. I choose to save my energy for being happy and helping others and for trying to be and do good).

My hopes for you and all of yours (some might be repeats from previous years): Be happy. Do good. Acknowledge kindness. Appreciate everything! The Good, The Bad and The Ugly are all necessary: learn how to work your life appropriately. Shut up once in a while. Stop complaining so much. Sit outside, in the quiet, by yourself and breathe from time to time. Spin or cross-fit or yoga or walk or run or hop on an elliptical but do something to keep moving. Be grateful for your health but don’t take it for granted: do something to maintain it or better it…depending on your need. Thank people. Smile at strangers; say “Hi!”. Hold doors open for people. Pick things up for folks who may have dropped them. Make an effort to make your world and the world around you better; this will make you more happy and more satisfied than you might ever imagine (and it makes others all warm and fuzzy too!).

The end.
Happy New Year friends. 


Wednesday, November 7, 2012

The Madness

It's the first Wednesday in November 2012. The United States has a "new" president (in that we re-elected President Obama) and the political signs are coming down, the political ads have ceased (I live in Ohio and given that I don't even really watch TV all that much I have to tell you: hours and hours of political ads per day and so many were vicious, vicious) and FB is calming down with the political banter (read: nastiness, fighting, ostracizing oneself from family and friends and losing friends over political rants).

I have to say: I voted for Obama (ok, most folks already knew that) and I voted party-line since this past time 'round he had such a hard time getting folks to play nice in the sandbox and allow things to actually happen/get done.

I also have to say that I am saddened by my friends; from all "sides" and all parties and all walks of life that got down right rude and nasty with folks this time around. I was stunned. The name calling and hatred thrown around was staggering to me. And though we'd all like to think our candidates are the greatest, lets be honest: no one is as good as too many of you think by spewing so much hatred toward whichever other side/party and no one is as nasty and devastating either.

This has happened for some time now folks: one candidate wins and another loses. This is going to keep happening going forward. I only hope the next election doesn't bring out as much hatred and negativity and name-calling. At the end of the day, do you really think you'll ever convince anyone that you're right by calling names and spitting hate? 'Cause I'm thinking you kind of won't. And why: why, why, why cause actual fights with family and friends and actually lose people from your life over political fights? I love having people that don't agree with me on everything in my life! This is in part how I learn and grow and am introduced to new ideas. When you get right down to it, it's actually kind of a piece of what this country is all about.

Many folks that know me asked why I was so adament  about no political talk on my FB account. I was hap-hap-happy to comment on other peoples' posts and to "like" comments and funny pictures and commentaries posted by others...to debate with strangers but, given the tone (and what I witnessed on so, so many of the posts I did participate in) I just didn't have the energy to watch people fight on my own wall, to 'cause drifts and arguments and to monitor people's comments (and heck, I don't have a smart phone so too much can go on while I'm tending to other matters! have to get a smart phone!). I am by no means a shrinking violet, I just saw a line I chose not to cross...because strangers fight with strangers and we lose friends and in the end, that is sad and silly. I don't mind disagreeing with you on politics; I'd probably appreciate a true debate (without yelling and name calling) but because of the tone this year, I couldn't risk it so, I didn't.

While I don't want to fight about politics I will state my stance. Please note: these beliefs would lead me to leave my home, my family and my everyday world to march, to protest and quite honestly I think: to die for; it really, truly means that much to me. I have to vote for the person/party/whatever that is for civil liberties and against oppression of any kind. It quite literally sickens me to think that today, in 2012 there's still an issue about equal pay for equal work, freedom of choice for a woman over her body, healthcare as a necessary benefit and marriage freakin' equality.

I'll try to not go on and on here because really, these are what I believe to be basic rights and are so fundamental they shouldn't need a whole ton of explaining.

I'm a female. I'm smart. I'm educated. I'm capable. There's no good reason that given an apples to apples comparsion I should make any less money for same work/same position than a male. None.

Again: female. My body. My belief that life doesn't actually begin at conception (I believe the potential for life begins at conception but a stack of cells and no brain and no heartbeat does not = life to me). Beyond that I still think girls, teenagers, women get pregnant on accident all the time (and I won't even touch rape, incest, threat of a mother's death because those are absolute non-negotiable circumstances). Whether this is due to ignorance, a failure in contraception, laziness or anything else...why bring an unwanted life into this screwed up world? All the folks who believe this is murder and horrendous and against god; I respect your belief but unless you can somehow carry this child to term and then agree to raise it: hands off my uterus please. Is it pleasant? Not so much but such is the madness we call this world and the madness that is life.

Healthcare. That's a tricky one for me. Do I believe it's a "right"? I'm not sure. Do I believe that the financial betterment of this country and the overall welfare of its' citizens depends on folks having equal access to quality care? Well - yes. I have been in the healthcare industry for over 18yrs now. Insurance, billing, patient, too many family members to count 'in the trenches': nurses, dieticians, physician assistants etc. I know that having equal access to equal care will, in the end save our country; truly: save-our-country. I'd like to go on and on about this ('cause it's kind of one of my areas of expertise!) but well, I'm not going to right now.

And now to marriage equality. All I have to say is: what? How is this an issue? I have gay family members, gay friends, gay neighbors and I'll tell you what: they're just people folks. Not unlike you or I or your kids or neighbors. They don't love differently, they don't live differently - they just have different, built-in tastes. Let me also say that of the gay relationships I know of, theirs seem to be longer lasting and less dramatic than any heterosexual relationship I know of (honest to god).

So, those are my short pieces on my beliefs. I am concerned about the economy, I am concerned about China, I am concerned about taxes. I really am. But I believe though, without basic, human rights there's no good ground to stand on to fight anything else. How can we tackle huge international, military, economic or other problems when we're still living in a country where folks choose to deny basic civil liberties to their neighbors?

See, I believe you have to take care of your own first. I donate a lot to charity (time, money, etc.) but you'll never see me donating to causes that take money out of this country (and mostly, not even out of my general vacinity); not that I begrudge anyone who donates to any charitable cause, because I don't, just that I truly believe you have to start at home. Take care of yourself and your families, then your neighbors and their neighbors and so forth. A big piece of this "taking care" is ensuring everyone here has basic, human rights. Because once that's achieved: can you imagine that truly united front?

Now that would be a force to be reckoned with!

Thursday, August 9, 2012

Random Thoughts...Right Now

People are strange.

In my every day life I see so many folks that are happy, good people...then the spectrum shifts to ungrateful, grumpy and often hostile (though they try to hide it) to just "blah" people (both of the latter set might too be "good people" but sometimes folks make it so hard to see...). Listen - I hate my job, I loathe a bunch of folks I have to work with but, you know what? I literally whistle when I work, I sing, I laugh...because I have a job and benefits and because life is so much easier when you choose to be happy. That's right folks...you can choose to be happy in the face of strife and the SOB that can be life. Many folks that know me don't know my "battles", my demons, my true past. It is far from sunshine and daydreams but you know what? Happiness is better: choose it.

I have friends on the far left, the far right and right where I am: vote with your dollars people: money rules. Sadly I believe that no matter where the country goes with our next presidential race, nothing will really change...nothing will truly get better (I've said it before, I'll say it again - don't gripe at me: I always vote!).

I am an educated woman (I have a Master's degree) yet it is beyond my comprehension why it's such an absurd idea that people in the highest tax bracket pay the same percentage of taxes as those in the middle to low tax ranges...forget the dollars people - we're talking percentages. It's not punishment to pay more - it's just fair. Why do the folks with the most money often get to pay a lower percentage? Why do folks who make the least often pay a higher percentage? Here's the bottom line - our country would crumble to the ground without the folks in the middle to lower tax brackets: that's a personal guarantee. 

And before you bitch at me here (I control the comments btw ;) or on FB, know that politics is too far a complex issue to discuss here so, let's not, 'kay?

Why do folks who make the most, real-world difference get paid the least? I'm talking cops, EMTs, firefighters, nurses, teachers, folks who work for non-profits (and that's to benefit humans...including disabled, children, elderly OR our furry friends) etc.- why is there no money in providing salvation? Don't get me wrong...I "get": it - I know where the money is, I know how it works, I just don't get it...

Why don't people do simple things like recycle, turn lights off when they leave a room , carpool, use mass-transit, walk or bicycle whenever possible?

I want a dog (and a pig and elephant and dolphin and chipmunk and a million other cute, fuzzy animals) but you know what? I can't actually provide them with appropriate, happy lives so, I choose not to have them at this time. Do the same. If you can't actually provide a good life for an animal, leave it for someone else...PLEASE! Know that animals get sick (I pay about $100/mo for my kidney failure kitty), animals need regular, medical check-ups, vaccinations and a lot of times they need special diets, prescription foods and meds. If you're living paycheck to paycheck a pet is not for you.

Once in a while: shut-up. Seriously...listen to the world, really listen to your friends, enjoy silence. Shut-up (I say this after my throat got dry from talking so much tonight! ha!).

Stop bitching...(see far above, see right above). I'm not saying to live in silence with your misery or suggesting you shouldn't be bitching to your friends about what needs to be griped about but seriously...at least occasionally, be grateful.

Why can't we all have beautiful singing voices?

Thank the world for folks with beautiful singing voices...it's amazing how music can move folks.

Why do people who claim to "love animals" eat them? Being vegan for almost 8 years I truly struggle with this. If you love cats and dogs but eat cows and pigs and chickens and turkeys and fish and lamb (or even some of them) etc. - you don't love animals (even if you "love" how some of them taste [smart-ass]) - you love cats and dogs. Don't say you're an animal lover when you're truly not, 'kay? Here's another snippet - I very rarely bitch about people about what they eat but, it's my damn blog so...

I wish more folks could grow their own food.

I wish my dad could catch a break...once in his life, a real break. Not many folks know how it makes my heart sing to help him out when I can/do. No one I know could weather the storm of a life like his without breaking - there is no one quite like my father: no one.

You know what? Gay people are just people...just folks. I heard some ignorant comments recently about "them" marching and "getting in peoples' faces" and their "parades" etc. You know why they march? Remember a set of folks in our society called blacks? Yeah...they marched too - because they were stripped of basic, human liberties - to live and love freely. Look at us now. Look at civil rights photos and replace black folks with gay folks...same difference in a lot of respects...folks just trying to live and love as they choose. And that's all I have to say about that (right now).

I'm glad I live in a community where I can walk or bike to so many favorite places so easily.

I love that just about every day I get to see a friend or two...that's literal and makes me so, so happy.

I buy my friend's bad dog (shut-it JS - I heart him) shortbread cookies from Starbucks more often than I should.

I love thunder and lightening and storms in general and really wish I had a porch sometimes.

Someday I hope to find love and get married again...I really do (not that the first marriage had anything to do with love...). 

I know far too many "kids" that live at home at 20/30 something that are working, and/or not in school and/or aren't trying hard enough: you know what? GET OUT! Do yourselves and your parents/families a freakin' favor and move...Parents - kick 'em out! I was booted at 18 via an eviction letter from my dad (yes - still have the letter and yes, the dad I adore so much) and I lived paycheck to paycheck and on credit cards and on ramen noodles and mac and cheese and went up to debt to my eyeballs...and then I busted my back while working full-time (and sometimes part-time along with it) and going to school part to full time and still managed to volunteer and I saved and scrimped and I paid off all of my debts (think $20k+ people). I didn't file bankruptcy (not that sometimes that isn't totally warranted), I didn't default and settle my debts - I paid them off...just like I'm paying off $75k in student loans. It stinks now but someday I hope it gives me a life more in-line with were I want to be. Bottom line: I am more responsible and more grateful for all that I have than anyone whose been given the bulk of what they have (including a roof over their heads when they should have moved on!).

OK - I have to start getting ready for bed, it's 11:30 and I walk 3.75 miles starting at 5:30am!

Good night people...look at your life in a new light and be happy. Choose to be happy.


Wednesday, June 27, 2012

Stolen Bike = Stomped on Spirit


Everyone that knows me knows that I love to ride my bike. I average about 600 miles/year on it. As soon as the weather is ready to break my bike goes in for a tune-up (always take extra-special care of my bike!) so I’m ready to go!

Over the 6+ years I have had my (nice) bike I have spent time and money decking it out a little: added a kickstand, a water bottle holder, a saddlebag rack, nice electric lights, a decent Cat Eye, $100+ metal pedals (one side allows you to “clip in”) and I always lock my bike wherever I go (we go a lot of places together!).

I ride my bike for stress relief, for fun, to be “green”. I run errands, ride to dinner or the farmers’ market and visit friends all via my bike. I’ve ridden way out to my parents house (and back), to the beach, on Critical Mass rides and a million other places.

Last night I rode it to Target near my house and locked it up. I walked in at exactly 7:20 and my register receipt was stamped 7:37. By the time I got outside, someone had stolen my (locked up) bike.

I felt a bit like I had been kicked in the stomach. I was stunned…stupefied actually. I went in and spoke with security and called the police. The police came and took my report. They were actually awesome; took this seriously: drove around looking, alerted area police departments, were kind, respectful and sympathetic.

My neighbor (and friend) came and got me to take me home (we stopped so I could have a drink first!) and I called the police with the serial# for my bike.

I’m so stunned by this. You hear so much about karma and what goes around comes around and how doing good brings good to you.

Well: I am pretty good. I am generous with both my time and my money. I donate as much as I can to charities, I have helped many a person in need financially (to the point that right now I am paying on a loan I took out a couple years ago to help someone else out. Not the smartest thing: sure; but, I was able to do it and come through and help in a time of need so I did. I’d do it again.). I volunteer a lot (not a week goes by that I don’t volunteer at least a little), I am an active community member. I feel like I am undeserving of such a jerky move by someone.

But when you start to get down in the dumps, the dumps really come…and I start reflecting on my short comings and the mistakes I have made and unkindness I have been guilty of and I think: why not happen to me? Maybe I do deserve to be the victim of a jerky move.

But I know life can’t be lived that way. I know far worse things happen to far better people. I know that I’m not perfect and I have never strived to be. So I guess I’m just going with the whole: “shit happens” mindset. I’m going to keep being flawed but keep doing good and always strive to be good and kind and generous.

I am not going to be a Debbie-Downer about this. It sucks – for real, but I am lucky enough to be in a position where I can replace my bike. I’d rather spend that money on other things (or charities) but I am so, so lucky to be in the position that I am. I am not a single mom of two whose only mode of transportation is a bicycle and that’s part of what chaps my ass: the person who stole my bike had no regard for what they were doing to the person who worked so hard to have that bike (and anyone who knows me would tell you: I’d gladly give to help someone if they were truly so in need and in such a bad situation that they needed to steal. I’m betting this person wasn’t doing anything but being a jerk though). For a split second I knee-jerked the thought: “Why do I even bother? Why do I try to help people/society/the planet etc. if something like this is going to happen?” and then I realize that it’s because I truly enjoy helping people and furry people and the planet: it’s what feeds my soul.

So…I will get a new bike. I don’t know if I’ll replace it with an identical bike and all the goodies or if I’ll try something new. Either way I am grateful to be able to do it, sorry that I have to but I won’t miss out on bike riding this season.

Oh, by the way: please don’t be a jerk and steal stuff, ‘kay?
Thanks a lot.

Tuesday, June 5, 2012

Random Thoughts for Today (Tuesday June 5, 2012):

  1. Once again: cannot believe how long it's been since I've made a blog entry: I wish I blogged more...
  2. For all of its' faults...I love my city (Lakewood, OH)
  3. I walk (on average) 15 miles/week
  4. I am so excited that biking season is upon us
  5. I wish I had a house...but only so I could have a garden and a dog. In order to alleviate these wants I funded awesome raised beds at my parents and the gardening there is going to be amazing this year...and I volunteer helping dogs (and cats) so I get my "dog-fix" (I don't really want a house when it comes down to it)
  6. My underwear was on inside out all day today
  7. I start laser tattoo removal again at this end of this month: ouch
  8. A lot of people suck...but there are more good people than bad out there: I just know it
  9. Volunteering is in my blood and is part of my basic make-up
  10. In talking with someone recently I realized I have been vegan for 7 years (not without a few [minimal] mis-steps along the way)
  11. People should help each other more
  12. Nothing in politics is really going to change: ever (and lets be honest people: the government [local, state, national] sucks overall). I vote: so leave me alone but, I truly believe we'll never see a real overhaul or radical change in our government and that is truly sad. BTW - you better vote too!
  13. I don't understand why people fight over politics (see above). I love a healthy debate (over anything) but I would never risk losing a friendship over it.
  14. Striving for perfection will make you crazy (and obnoxious); you're closer to perfect when you realize flaws can be beautiful and build character...
  15. People who can't afford to have pets shouldn't get them
  16. If you pull too far into an intersection/crosswalk and don't move your hiney out of the way of a walker/biker your car deserves to be spit on and your hood smacked
  17. I am ready to get my body back...injury: better, the last of that nasty prednisone should exiting my system (c'mon!), I'm spinning twice/week, walking, walking, walking, gym 2-3x/week : somethings gotta give!
  18. Why do people idolize celebrities and professional athletes?
  19. I tried a smart phone and I hated it so it was returned. I don't have the time, energy or desire to spend trying to make spending $30/mo on a smart phone worth it
  20. Parents should not have to bury their children
  21. I never: ever share any true fears with anyone
  22. I never: ever share my deepest thoughts, concerns or problems with anyone: ever...and I have so, so many great, great friends. I've never been burned because of sharing and I don't think it makes people weak but none of you: no one: anywhere knows my deepest fears, thoughts, misgivings, anxieties etc. - and likely that will never change - I'm weird like that
  23. I found a small rubber chicken on a walk this past weekend, I took it home, washed it and now it's in my purse: I have no idea why
  24. If everyone, everywhere gave $5 to a favorite local charity every month we could probably change the world
  25. I have never, ever wanted children
  26. I would love to own my own business some day but I have no idea what I'd do (ok - I have some thoughts but they wouldn't pay the bills)
  27. I want to be a published author someday but because of #21 and #22 above I hold back - very, very few people have "seen my stuff"! That's where some more truth about me comes through (all of my writing is in a fire safe box, under lock and key and hidden! ha!)
  28. I have the best dad: ever
  29. I don't understand why everyone isn't worrying about or researching  where their food comes from and the underlying issues surrounding so much of where we eat, how we eat, what we eat (well: not me!)
  30. I have never had cable in my life and cannot fathom a day where I spend $$ for television or radio
  31. Glad that generally speaking: life is great.
Good night people.