My friend died today

We were eleven when we first met. She had these big, beautiful breasts and we all wanted to hate her for them...except she was beautiful and kind and her dimples went on for miles.

So she became our friend.

These are some of my random memories of my dear friend...we were little then:

bike rides through the MetroParks. I know exactly where we hid our bikes and wandered off to sun on the rocks. I have this one picture that takes my breath away from then...

We pierced each other's ears. Mine hers and her mine, We were stupid.

Her then step dad introduced us to egg-drop soup: Campbell Noodles chicken soup with an egg cooked into it: who knew!

She gave me a button down FORENZA shirt that i still wear to bed to this day.

she gave me a blue silk nightgown i somehow lost track of over the years

we used to listen to U2 ALL.THE.TIME. (and sometimes REM). Bullet the Blue Sky, Helter Skelter, Where the Streets Have No Name, With or Without you...we listed to these songs (and more) for hours.

We used to read the exact same books at the exact same time. mostly Stephen King and Anne Rice. we'd get so excited and so lost in the story. The Talisman will forever hold a place in my heart...we'd jump up and down on our beds so excited to talk about where the book was going!

I'd rub her back and she'd rub mine...for hours,

I watched my beautiful friend bear a child. I fought the battle of mental illness and drug and alcohol with her and, as is life, i lost track of her along the way.

there are 100 million more stories but today i focus on what i have to give, now.

seriously. 10+ years since we last knew her, she fell into our laps. I played big girl and called her last Thrs (less than a week ago) and talked with her. I went this past Saturday with my lifelong friend's mom (I could not go alone), I hugged her, kissed, her, told her i loved her.

I made plans with my parents to see her this Saturday and hopefully start reading to her,

it's so weird that life goes on but, it does.

today i remember my friend and all of the secrets and hiding places and everything else we had...including our fistfight.

i love you friend. i am overwhelmed with memory and emotion. i miss you, i just re-visited your message to remain poetic. i lost way some but will come back around.

poetry is not hard when you're surrounded by such beauty.

you are missed. i am sorry we missed out on so may years.
i am  sorry cancer killed you.
know that you were sought after and loved, always.

Good-bye Lauren
I love you forever.
Leah